I was really excited to get the book Love is a Choice by Lynn G Robbins because the title is something I really believe in. Quick story about me before I tell you about the book. 🙂
When Alan and I started dating and talking about marriage I knew that I loved him, but I didn’t have that “head over heels” feeling that everyone talks about. I just knew we were right for each other and that he had everything I was looking for in a husband. We just fit and it felt right. It wasn’t until after we were engaged that I got that “head over heels” giddy honeymoon love. And I’m really glad it worked out that way. Because eventually that feeling goes away, but I always know that we are right for each other no matter what.
Lynn G. Robbins talks about this very thing at the beginning of his book. He says, “Those who have confused infatuation for love may unwisely believe they are falling out of love when problems arise. The resulting doubt might cause them to wonder if they made a mistake and if their real soul mate might still be out there somewhere.”
Robbins talks about our responsibility and agency in our marriages. I love the story he tells about a mom and daughter. The daughter is frustrated with her marriage so the mom asks her daughter to make a list and on one side to write the things about her husband that bothered her. On the other side of the list she was to write how she responded to each thing that he did. Then she tells her daughter to cut the paper in half and to throw away the things about her husband and to work on her own behavior and actions if she wanted to have a happy marriage. We can’t change our spouses, but we can change ourselves.
He also does a great job explaining how to use the Atonement, repentance, forgiveness, and developing Christlike characteristics to help and strengthen our marriage.
I love the section in the book where he talks about raising children and to remember who they really are – children of God. With little children running around in my own home, this is not always the easiest thing to remember. A good thing to remember is when Robbins says, “Inappropriate behavior should not define a child’s character – treat the behavior as temporary, as an act and not an identity.” I need to write this down and keep it on my mirror. Such great advice!
In the rest of the book you will find advice on finances, unity, and Christlike virtues. Using quotes from General Authorities, scriptures references, and LDS literature, Robbins supports his writing and helps you recognize the truth in his words.
This is a must read for anyone – married or not. It prepares you if you aren’t married and helps you think about your own marriage if you are. There’s so much great advice and truth that everyone needs in order to strengthen their marriage.
You can find Love is a Choice on Amazon.