In this week’s podcast episode of Parenting in Real Life, we interviewed Cali Pope, a life coach who focuses on finding your village. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child,” but what if you don’t feel like you have a village? What if you don’t have family to help or an awesome community reaching out? Then this is the interview for you! Listen anywhere you listen to podcasts, but here’s the quick version of what we talked about.
finding my village
I’ve always loved the idea of having a village help me raise my kids, but motherhood often makes me feel very lonely. Family isn’t as helpful as I thought and being a stay at home mom with young children can be isolating. Here are some ideas that Cali shared with us to help you start creating your village.
Identify What You Need
It’s pretty easy for us to know we need help, but knowing what kind of help can be the hard part. When we can sit down and identify what we need help with, it’s easier to ask for that specific help. Do you need some alone time? Is it too exhausting to keep your house clean? Do you need a creative outlet? Do you need to socialize? What do you feel is lacking from your life that someone could help you with? Once you identify what you need, reach out and find that person who can help you fulfill that need.
What Do I Have to Offer?
Cali also talks about figuring out what you can offer to your village too. Maybe you don’t have the energy to babysit other people’s kids, but you can make dinners or help in a carpool. Are you really good at listening or make amazing cakes? Maybe your home is a safe space for kids to play or maybe you’re good at organizing play dates at the park. Whatever you feel you are able to do, offer it to those who you want in your village. Sometimes we’ll have to take more than we give in certain seasons, but as your kids get older, you’ll be able to give more too.
I much prefer a face to face village, but sometimes online friendships are formed too. Reading good articles and seeing uplifting content on social media can help. If you’re looking for some help with your family, look to trusted resources. I love to organize and have a bunch of kids, so I love to post about how my family stays organized. If that’s something you need more of, check out my article on How to Keep You Family Organized.
Reach Out
For an introvert, like myself, sometimes it’s scary to reach out when you need help. But if you start by reaching out to one friend or one babysitter or one neighbor or one coworker, you can start to create that village. Lots of times, you’ll find that people want to be able to help, but may not know how to help you. If you ask, they’ll probably say yes!