What makes a strong family? Is it their values? Their accomplishments? How close of a connection they have? Every family is different, but one thing we do know is that it takes intention, time, and effort to create the family dynamic you want with the strong family values you feel are most important.
In this episode of Parenting in Real Life, we were joined by Joe Hashey from the Strong Family Project podcast. He gave us a breakdown of what helps him and his wife create harmony and balance inside their own family of five.
Pulling from the nuggets of wisdom that Joe shared, here are 4 tips to help establish practices that you can apply to your own family.
Core family Values
Having strong family values is a great way to guide you and your family’s decisions. Whether it’s good ethics, manners, or other things of importance, a strong and shared value system is one of the key elements of a strong family.
- Be Your Genuine Self! – teach your children to be genuine and uniquely themselves by letting them choose their own path.
- Look for Personal Growth Opportunities – let your kids explore what interests them and pursue what they love doing. Whether it’s a sport, art, or music, look for those things they gravitate to naturally.
- Show Gratitude – practice showing gratitude every day to teach your kids how to view the world with a grateful heart.
- Personal Accountability – when a family member takes responsibility for their own actions, you can move to a solution-oriented discussion more quickly without blaming others.
Mindful Language
As a parent, it’s easy to let your emotions get the better of you, especially when your kids are fighting with one another or being disruptive in other ways. Kids, in turn, will replicate how their parents react and talk when upset. Being mindful of your tone and language when speaking to each other will help your kids learn how to handle difficult and emotional situations.
- Use calming words when talking to your children.
- Record yourself and listen to it later to see what you could do differently the next time.
- Reflect on what happened and talk about it when emotions are more regulated.
- Don’t be afraid to step away from a situation if you need to. Sometimes a “time out” is exactly what is needed.
- Then come back to the discussion when everyone involved has had some time to clear their heads.
- If you are having a hard time deescalating a situation, here are a few ways to manage the stress you might be under.
Set Goals as a family
Shared goals are a great way for families to bond together and offer support. And if your family is anything like mine, they love prizes! Choosing a small reward after accomplishing each goal will continue to motivate your family to accomplish more goals.
- For bigger, more time-intensive goals, set an annual goal to achieve by the end of a calendar year.
- Smaller, weekly goals are a great way to divide your annual goal into something more easily attainable.
- Write your goals down and post them where everyone in the family can see them. This is a great way to see progress and make the goal more tangible.
- If you pay for chores in your home, set up a Greenlight account for each child and help them keep track of financial goals.
- Remember, there are no rules to what and how you accomplish your goals, and feel free to make adjustments as you go if needed.
Family Meeting
Having a weekly family meeting is essential in making sure your household runs smoothly. Your family meeting can essentially be about anything that concerns your family, and will help establish a healthier way to communicate with one another.
- If you can, commit to a specific day/time to better ensure your family meeting is happening consistently.
- Discuss important topics such as technology use, family and individual goals, school activities, chores, etc.
- Involve your kids in family meetings. This will make them feel included and valued, which will help them have a better sense of involvement and accountability.
- Implement ‘doorknob conversations’. These are conversations that happen as you are tucking your kids into bed and are a great way to connect with each child individually.
Family life can get hectic sometimes, but if you can establish a system and create core values for your kids to give them a blueprint, it will guide them to make good choices and create a sense of security.
What are the core values your family puts importance on?